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1. Bring it all down on the side of love. By Jeanette LeBlanc

Bring it all down on the side of love. By Jeanette LeBlanc

Today I bring it all down on the side of love and I’ll tell you now, yes, you should fly across the country just for 48 hours in her arms spend your last dollar and borrow more to get there steal words from the past and ink them along your lower left rib in a promise to never risk this. then risk it. let it get fucking messy. get naked and swim around in the havoc you’ve brought forth by loving claim fiercely only the brief moments you are given. then take more take everything take with relentless fury take until the taking looks like giving and the giving looks like a prayer. love like holy looks when it says your name like a confession booth redemption. and like on your knees supplication to gods you don’t believe in then see what happens if you believe in them. love like the cadence of poetry. like nails down your back like a battering ram like a mother holds her child. like a consecrated temple and like a seedy hotel room affair. love like everything depends on it. because it does and it doesn’t so love them both love wrong till it’s right love like they tell you you could not should not can not and then do. love like you had the chance and didn’t take it love like you did and didn’t make it. and in the quiet, desperate moments before giving up everything. love like you’re just about to come… undone now hold on. don’t let go. love with your hands just like your grandparents, arthritic knuckles clasped tight on their 50th wedding anniversary like a newborn baby palm curled around your index finger with a grip so fierce you’d swear he could hold the weight of the world. then let it all fall down. and love like a fist fight like a palm reader like fingers trailing across braille. like rock paper scissors and like sign language speaking silent truths from across a crowded room. love with your mouth. like the sweet expectation of the moments before your very first kiss and like the screaming match where you hurled words like they were the weapons that would set you free. love like the taste dark chocolate and red wine mingling on your tongue and licking a cherry popsicle on a hot summer day. love like leaving bite marks on pale skin and like swallowing bitter truths so you don’t hurt him anymore. Love like the past like wandering through an antique shop and feeling the whispers of long ago memories in dust of discarded things. Like old, soft leather and the hard crack of a whip, Like a long forgotten love letter slipped in the back of an old book. Like a typewriter with sticky keys that keeps on spelling his name no matter how many times you tell them you’ve moved on. love like the day you walked down the aisle and the day you signed the divorce papers like the way you drew in that shaky breath right before she touched you for the first time and like you stopped breathing the day he went away forever. love like you haveall the answers to all the questions you’ve ever asked and like you’ll never know a single one. love like a tangle of hands and mouths and limbs that goes on forever and like it all ends. Right now. so love in the brutal tearing apart of everything you’ve ever known. and like your scattered pieces are finally being gathered together. like your wholeness matters more than your goodness. Love, your wholeness IS your goodness. love like you loved Superman when you were five like you loved New Kids On The Block when you were twelve like you loved that boy in math class when you were 16 and that girl at the bus stop when you were 22. love like you learned to love yourself yesterday like the way you’ve found only yourself at the end of every choice you’ve ever made. love is at the end of every choice you ever made. love like maybe possibly mmmmm ok, sure. If you wanna? love like Yes! Yes! Yes! and like saying “Hell no. I am worth FAR more than that” and meaning it. love like long lost soulmates and like fucking someone who could not tell you your own name. love, you need to know your own name. so love like a car crash like a hospital emergency room at 3am like a war zone like a bomb shelter. like a selfishness like a submission like a saint like a sinner like happily ever after and like the sweetest one night stand. just love. stop pretending you can’t, stop pretending you don’t want to stop listening to them when they tell you shouldn’t. love because you must because you can because you don’t really have to but by god, you know that you will. bring it all down on the side of love

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